Separation Anxiety

For whatever reason this evening has me feeling emotional.  As much as I am excited to meet our precious girl I am also feeling a twinge of sadness over the phase of our mother/child relationship that will soon be ending.  Almost 9 months of being completely attached to this little life, and that time is running out quickly.  And I am going to miss it.  

I told Aaron that I was feeling emotional tonight, and he knows me...good husbands are like that...so he asked me if it was because Baby Sister was about to be born and wouldn't be inside me anymore.  Yep, he hit the nail on the head.  And even though he can't fully understand it, I don't think any man can, he knows me enough to understand why it makes me well up and release those good old fashioned things called tears that God seemed to give women more than enough of.  So I had a nice cry.  And it felt good to let out some of those extra tears I'd been storing up.  

So tonight, Baby Sister, I am cherishing all the moments we've already had while looking forward to all the new moments we'll share together.  

I will miss feeling your sweet little kicks and punches, your little body tumbling inside mine...
...yet I can't wait to see and kiss those sweet little feet and hands that have been using the inside of me as a punching bag.  

I will miss your little hiccups, a sure sign that your body is getting ready to breathe new life...
...and I can't wait to rejoice over hearing your first baby cry...that sweet inhale and exhale signaling that you have entered the world.  

I will miss hearing your heartbeat on our baby doppler here at home...I'll miss seeing your big brothers Johnathan and Eli eagerly ask to "check on Baby Sister"...
...but I can't wait to see your precious body, the rise and fall of your little chest, as you sleep and snuggle with your brothers.  

I will miss being your complete source of life and nutrition in the womb...
...oh but I cannot wait to feed you from the outside of your current cozy little home...giving you what God made available for mothers to give their babies.

There are so many sweet things I'll miss about this phase of mothering you, sweet Baby Sister, but there are so many more blessings to come.  So many people already love you dearly, and I cannot wait to share your precious life with them.  I love you, sweet baby girl.  

*Mama*