Just when things seem "normal" something comes up to shake our lives up a bit. This week it's been Johnathan being sick. He has been battling allergies for a couple of weeks, and this past weekend they got the best of him and he came down with a fever Sunday night. When I took him to his pediatrician Monday afternoon Johnathan was pretty hot feeling, coughing and hadn't been eating like he normally does. The doctor listened to his chest...for a long time...and decided we needed an x-ray to rule out pneumonia. *I started to freak out a bit...okay, a lot*
We headed over to the radiology dept to get the x-ray, and I had to leave poor Eli out, alone, in the hallway because he couldn't be close to the radiation...talk about a scary situation. Luckily Eli has a set of lungs on him and screamed the whole time, so at least I knew he was still out there and that no one was taking him. It was awful though. The x-ray came back, lungs looked okay, so we got some scripts for an oral steroid to help with the decreased breathing sounds in Johnathan's left lung and some antibiotics for the double ear infection that he had. Poor baby!
Anyways...I have been having a rough time with Johnathan being sick. I have been trying to pray, to not worry, to concentrate on what is true...but is really has been a battle...a spiritual battle I am sure, and the Devil wants to keep me in this place of being scared and not living in truth. Yesterday was a bad day. I cried uncontrollably for a large part of the morning and some more throughout the day. It was weird. I felt so oppressed by fear. It was scary. I felt so vulnerable and not in control...which is why maybe I have a hard time with trust...I like to be in control of things, but really, I am in control of very little and I need to leave everything in God's hands.
Yesterday I had a great conversation with my sister, Gail. After hearing my fears she prayed such a beautiful prayer for me, spoke God's truth and words of comfort. It helped. And I realized, as I often have before, that sharing my struggles lessens sadness, helps to ease fears and gives me truth to think about. I am so thankful for sweet people in my life who are willing to help me along when my days are less than perfect. *Thanks sweet Gaily, I love you!*
Today we went back to the doctor since Johnathan's cough has worsened. Our pediatrician (who I love, and have mentioned this fact numerous times!) looked Johnathan over and just smiled and said, "lungs sound good!" Phew, relief! But still, poor Monkey has an awful cough that has made him throw up and interferes with his (and the rest of the family's) sleep. So, he got a steroid shot to help his breathing/cough and will continue with the other meds until they are completed.
I am starting to feel better about Johnathan getting well...but...Eli now seems to be getting sick too. Aah! Congestion and starting with a little cough today, but not very frequent, no fever, so we'll see where it leads. I have been suctioning out his little nose like crazy, and I hope that I can ward off any real sickness.
I know that kids get sick. I know that it is common for kids to get sick frequently. I know that most of these little colds/viruses/etc. when caught & treated early aren't a huge threat...however, I still can't seem to calm down the stress levels that seem to rise to enormous proportions in me. Trust. I am learning it. But it is going to be an ongoing process, but, I suppose that is how it is supposed to be.
Here's to two little healthy guys soon...hopefully very soon, that would be nice!
dining room mirror
7 hours ago