A long time in coming

Yesterday, for the first time in a long time, I CELEBRATED Mother's day as a mommy! For several years now, I have dreaded the day. It was always a sharp reminder of what I did not have, what I longed for, what was taken away. Yesterday however, brought joy that I haven't been able to feel in quite some time. I love being a mommy to my children.

Gideon, I love that you were my first baby. Conceived in love, carried with hope, sent HOME with the knowledge that we'll see you again someday.

Daniel, I love that you are in Heaven with your big brother. You are a comfort to me, and a reminder of all that I have waiting for me.

Angel babies, I love that I feel so connected with you sweet children, even though I have never seen you or felt you. You are just as much a part of me as your older brothers.

And, Johnathan, you're my salvation. You are the fulfillment of all my dreams and desires, and such a joy to hold, nourish and love. It is my prayer that you will come to know the Lord Jesus as your Savior, and that you will come to love Him just as your older siblings do.

I love you, my precious babies. Now and Forever.