Thursday, May 6, 2010

What {NOT} To Expect When You're Expecting!

I am sure that most of us have heard of or read the book, What to Expect When You're Expecting. Apparently it is the Bible of pregnancy books...I don't know first hand, since I haven't read it, but judging from how many copies have sold since it's original print date it seems that it's a pretty popular title. Even though I am uneducated in regards to this book, I do have some experience under my belt with actual pregnancy, so this is my own take on what {NOT} to expect...brought to you in my own humorous way, of course!

What {NOT} To Expect When You're Expecting
by Grace Aldape

Do {NOT} Expect to feel sane! Your hormones are going crazy, thus your emotions can be like a roller coaster, up one second and down the next. This is normal, just don't expect to feel normal, because, well, you won't!

Do {NOT} Expect to always be ladylike. There is nothing ladylike about letting out the more embarrassing parts of being pregnant...I'm talking gas people. Yeah, we all have it, and somehow or another it has to escape...but with an ever growing belly pushing Lord knows what out of the way, sometimes things have a way of "escaping" without your realization. So don't expect to always be prim and proper, unless of course you want to be totally uncomfortable as you try to hold it all in!

Do {NOT} Expect to keep your figure. I know, I know, it is common knowledge that pregnant women gain weight. But if you're proud of your cute little hips, don't expect them to stay that way...they're going to get bigger, that's just how things go. That baby has to come out some way, and most likely you'll be happy that your hips decided to spread a little when it comes time for that head to pop it's way out from "down there." You might get your pre-baby figure back after delivery...just don't expect it to stay all slim and trim while you're pregnant, that's just not natural!

Do {NOT} Expect to feel like doing what it is that was done to get you pregnant in the first least not in your first trimester. Don't worry, all of the love that you have for your husband is still there, it's just hard to feel like Super Woman when you're puking your guts out on a daily basis.

Do {NOT} Expect to have to do everything yourself...even if you're capable, let other people help you out. Let the people at the grocery store help you out to your car with your bags, let (ask!) your hubby to help with the laundry or dishes. Hello! You're making a baby! You're going to get worn out, so don't expect to do it all on your own.

Do {NOT} Expect to have to take everyone else's advice...listen to it, sure, but you and your husband get to decide what's best for you. People seem to come out of the woodworks, especially when they find out you're having your first, and they will tell you all sorts of crazy things...problem is, none of the advice is the same, and people are just telling you what they did because it worked for them. Find out what works for you, and you'll be alright.

Do {NOT} Expect to be understood by your husband as you go about "nesting" like a mad woman...yes, I am speaking from some major experience here. And, if you happen to make up a list of things to do before baby arrives that is, say, about 4 pages long, do NOT expect for hubby to be completely on board with all of the items..."is dusting all the baseboards and walls really necessary"...why, yes honey, it is!

Do {NOT} Expect to have your former not-so-healthy food cravings disappear just because you're pregnant and are supposed to be a super healthy veggie eater. Don't go junk-food crazy, but a donut or a Dorito here and there won't be all that bad...okay, maybe I'm saying this just to make myself feel better. And you know what, I feel better! Okay, moving on...

Do {NOT} Expect to go more than a couple of weeks without buying toilet paper...unless you just really stock up. You're going to be peeing every hour or so for the next 9 months, so long as you drink plenty of fluids like you're supposed to. That's a lot of T.P. people, a lot!

Do {NOT} Expect to be completely gorgeous and glowing all the time. Pregnancy brings up some interesting skin issues, and maybe if you're a lucky one you'll keep your pregnancy glow throughout, just don't freak out if some morning you wake up and find some weird brown splotch on your face that you didn't have before..don't worry though, it will go away once the baby comes!

Do {NOT} Expect to be able to go shoe-shopping later on in pregnancy...unless it's for some flip-flops. Those feet of yours just might get a little bigger, and that's okay...just don't expect to go on a shoe shopping spree until after your baby arrives.

Do {NOT} Expect to understand how you can love your baby so much when you haven't even met him or her yet. The amount of love that you are already feeling is only going to grow as your baby does, and by the time he or she is born you'll wonder how you ever survived without him/her. That's just love, and you're not supposed to understand how it works!

*Okay folks, my little mister is waking up from his nap so this will have to be it for now! Blessings! -Grace*


Gail said...

I LOVED this post, Gracie. I can totally relate to a lot of those. As much as I hate to see my smaller figure go...I "figure"'s all for a good cause, right? YES!!!

Love you,


The Allen Family said...

Such a cute post!!! It made me laugh and is so true!

KellyW said...

This was great Grace! Brought back many memories of my pregnancy with!

Precious Moments said...

LOVE THIS!!!!! Talk about getting real-haha!!! This was funny to read especially since I am starting on that journey again. Oh how I have forgotton many of these!!!