Thursday, June 24, 2010

Another Red Rose

If you have been reading my blog for a while you may remember this post that I wrote shortly after Johnathan was born. What a moment it was when my father presented me with that very significant red rose. And what precious moment when he presented me, again, with another red rose, celebrating the life and birth of sweet Eli, when he came to meet his newest little grandson. The same emotions were felt as when he first gave me the flower after Johnathan's birth...and now that I have two red rose occasions I feel extremely blessed.

Having a child is a momentous occasion no matter what your circumstances are, but having a child after loss makes everything even more miraculous, or at least it seems so to me. There were times in our past when I thought having a baby was a dream of mine that would never be realized. It really seemed hopeless after losing our first two boys and then the two miscarriages, or "angel babies" as we call them. Life seemed so unfair, and at times I was for sure that God's ears were deaf to my cries for a child. And then we had Johnathan, and now we have Eli.

Before Johnathan was born, and before we knew he was going to be a boy, I really wanted a girl. I had told myself that having a girl would be easier, emotionally, because since losing Gideon and Daniel I had a special place in my heart for little boys. Having another boy seemed to be more than my heart could handle, so I thought for sure that Johnathan would be a girl. Well, he wasn't, obviously, and God knew exactly what my heart needed. A precious little boy to hold, to watch grow and to love with all of my mother's heart. And now I have another precious son.

Although we have two sweet sons on this earth, they are by no means replacements for our precious boys in Heaven. As times goes by, I am really seeing the special place that each of my children have in my heart. They are all so unique, and I love each of them equally, but differently. Not a day goes by that I don't think of and love my Heaven children. They are very much a part of our lives even though they aren't physically here with us. And some day our children here on earth will know of and love their older siblings in Heaven too. I can't wait for that day!

~~~~~~~~Here are some photos that my dad took when he visited a few weeks ago~~~~~~~~

My second red rose with my first "red rose baby!"

Gorgeous boy!

Who couldn't fall in love with this face?!!

The face of an angel!

Me with my sweetest little blessings!



Gail said...

What a precious post, Gracie. I understand on some level what you mean when you say having a baby after losing one makes it even more miraculous. I marvel every day at this precious baby inside of me.

I love you Gracie....your mother's heart...and your devotion to the Lord. You are blessed among women!



Ivy said...

You are right, the Lord always hears our cries even when it seems like he doesn't! Sometimes it is just hard to see that though until time is passes. In hindsight is most often we see His faithfulness.