Oh Goodness, I think I Messed Up :(

Do you ever have days when things just get to you? Not necessarily "important" things, just stuff, normal, everyday stuff?...normal, everyday but today-I-just-can't-take-it-anymore stuff? Do you ever have days like that? Or is is just me?...

Anyways, today was one of those days. Rather, today was one of those mornings. A morning where I really (and please tell me if this is bad) just wanted a day or at least a few hours to myself. Aaron had the day off and went to work out (which I am glad for but also maybe a bit jealous of the 3 hours he had away from home just to himself)...and I was just going about our morning, doing the same things we usually do in the mornings. Getting breakfast for 2 hungry little boys, cleaning up the mess that was made along the way, changing poopy diapers and wiping poopy big boy heinies, washing sticky clothes, picking up toys that the toy fairies must have strewn all over the house during the night and then trying somewhere in the middle of all that to grab my coffee - my cup of sanity for the day.

Eli, poor thing, well he wasn't having a good morning either. He has been exceptionally crabby this week...ear infections don't help much...but has been improving as his meds have started to kick in. But, he did throw a huge tantrum at his morning nap and woke up in an awful mood. By that time the grind had gotten to me. My "relaxing" shower to myself (a real luxury when it happens) was interrupted by his wailing and as I jumped out to get him I noticed an absence of noise from the room where Johnathan had been playing...never a good sign. I deposited Eli on the living room floor (where more, and louder wailing ensued) and found Johnathan on the kitchen counter attempting to reach his chips which are kept on top of the fridge! Crazy boy.

Aaron came home about this time and all I really wanted was to just be able to get dressed and ready for the day all.by.myself (ie. no interruptions)...yeah, that wasn't happening. Eli at this point was non-consolable and was throwing a huge, loud fit. As I was going about getting dressed (I couldn't just wear a towel all day) Eli would wail louder and louder each time he caught a glimpse of me while he threw his tantrum in the living room. Johnathan wasn't really in a bad mood, he was just being a rambunctious 3 year old with his own needs (me) and wants (me) and Aaron, well he had just had 3 whole hours to himself...not really a crime but to a mom feeling a little burned out it sure seemed like one...and all this to say that after about 30 minutes of crying and being needed and not being able to think straight I had just about had it. I can't even remember what Aaron asked me, but it put me over the top and I yelled out, "Will everybody just shut up! Nobody talk to me!"...can you believe it?!! I was so mean! :(

After a few (or maybe 10) minutes I started to calm down. Started to feel bad for being so rude to my sweet boys who just wanted and needed me. My sweet boys. I gathered them up in the living room, all three of them, and I apologized for what I'd done. I let them know how much I loved them and asked for them to forgive me. Of course being the sweet boys that they are they readily did so, and they were more than happy to have their happy mommy/wife back! And I was humbled that such wonderful guys love, want, need and are happy to have me! :)

After my blow-up & then make-up our day was wonderful! We actually had a fantastic day just hanging out doing fun family stuff. We went to Aunt Jen's for my weekly study with my girls, got back home and the boys took their naps (Johnathan got to nap in his tent in our room which he thought was totally cool). After nap time we had our snacks outside in the back while BoBo (our dog) got a good washing from Dada. Then, we "swam" in Johnathan's little 6 ft. pool and then did sidewalk chalk until dinner time. It was just simple stuff, but it was togetherness and that makes all the difference. I am blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful boys, and I really do love them with all my heart.

*Grace*